I've had several patients who were nannies, and other patients who hired nannies. I realize some people need nannies to watch their children, but I believe hiring a nanny should be a last resort.
People hire nannies based usually on the nanny's references. These references are from adults who hired the nannies. The only people who can actually report on the nannies' behavior, however, are the children. Parents often have no idea what is really going on between the nanny and the children. A publicized example of this can be seen in the film "The King's Speech," in which Colin Firth's character reveals that he was victimized by his nanny. If the future King of England doesn't get a good nanny, how can anyone know for sure that the nanny they hire is any good? They can't.
Abusive nannies are almost certainly in the minority. A more common, almost inescapable problem occurs when the nanny is good. The children bond with the nanny, seeing her as another parent. Many biological parents are probably in denial about the parent-child bond that can develop between nannies and children. When the children get older and no longer need a nanny, the nanny is typically fired. She may or may not continue some contact with the children. Children who lose a parent before age 11 are at higher risk for depression as adults. Losing a nanny can be just like losing a parent. Could this be the reason why so many children of the wealthy seem to end up on drugs or as suicides?
Daycare, which offers less individualized attention but more peer interaction, is a healthier choice than a nanny.
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